Hey, Calvary Fremont –
A joyful heart is good medicine… Proverbs 17:22
May the following Bulletin Bloopers, gleaned from church bulletins around America, put a smile on your face and laughter in your heart.
- Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
- The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.
- The Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.
- Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 to 8:30 pm. Please use the back door.
- The Rev. Merriwether spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience.
- The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, “Break Forth Into Joy.”
- Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
- Miss Charlene Mason sang, “I Will Not Pass This Way Again,” giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
- Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It is a good chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
- Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say “hell” to someone who doesn’t care much about you.
- The peace-making meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.
- The sermon this morning: Jesus Walks on the Water. The sermon tonight: Searching for Jesus.
- Next Thursday, there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
- The missionary from Africa speaking at Calvary Memorial Church in Racine: Name: Bertha Belch. Announcement: “Come tonight and hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.”
- Don’t let worry kill you off – let the Church help.
- Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
- The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind and they may be seen in the church basement Friday.
- At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be “What is Hell?” Come early and listen to our choir practice.
- Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 pm. – prayer and medication to follow.
- Weight Watchers will meet at 7 p.m. Please use the large double door at the side entrance.
- Diana and Don request your presents at their wedding.
- Today’s Sermon: HOW MUCH CAN A MAN DRINK? with hymns from a full choir.
- The choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.
- Ushers will eat latecomers.
- Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 pm in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.
- Thursday at 5 pm there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers club. All ladies wishing to be Little Mothers please meet with the pastor in his study.
- Let us pray for our unloved saved ones.
- Men’s Prayer Breakfast. No charge, but your damnation will be gratefully accepted.
- There will not be any Women Worth Watching this week.
- A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
- This evening at 7pm there will be hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
- The class on prophecy has been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances.
Do you have any of your own?
Be blessed and stay healthy and follow Jesus – Pastor Tim