May 22, 2024 / I can do what I want

Hey, Calvary Fremont –

“I can do what I want, and no one can tell me what to do.”

Tell this to your boss at work.

Say this to your spouse and children at home.

Declare this to your friends, family, church, teammates, and coaches.

The thought that you can do what you want, and no one can tell you what to do has to be one of the silliest ideas ever – right up there with the Flying Ford Pinto. The most miserable people on the planet are those who say that they can do what they want, and nobody can tell them what to do.

At work, someone can tell me what to do. I belong to an order of things that gives direction and structure to my labor, my time, and my energy. If the boss tells me to go to Place A, I go to Place A. I don’t tell her that I don’t want to go to Place A and prefer Place B instead. I cannot do what I want – I belong to an order of things into which I must fit.

At home, someone can tell me what to do. I belong to an order of things which gives direction to my time, energy, and affections. I made promises and entered into a covenant which gives shape to my life and form to my time. Can I ignore my wife? Ridiculous! Can I go to dinner with another woman if I promise not to kiss her at the end of the night? Sheer stupidity! The shape of my life, the proper place of my affections, and the force of covenant completely rule that out. I cannot do what I want. My life must conform to the order of things I belong to.

Children and grandchildren impose upon me a further order of things in which I am expected to play my part. Marriage and family are 24/7/365. Where’s the wiggle room? I cannot do what I want. My life must conform to the laws of these relationships.

Following Jesus finds me in an order of things that is 24/7/365. I cannot do what I want. My life must conform to the laws of the Kingdom of God.

As I play in the band, participate with the team, compete against opponents, I cannot do what I want. My life must conform to the order of things I belong to.

“Aha,” someone says, “If this is the case, I think I will stay away from all commitments. I’ll have no career, no faith, no spouse, no children, no outside interests. This way I’ll be able to do what I want without anyone telling me what to do.” Sure, you can do that. And you will be the most miserable person on the planet with the least freedom and liberty of all. You will be in the bondage of a self-centered, self-consumed life. Your strategy for liberty will lead you straight into the prison of alienation and loneliness. It’s counter-intuitive, but the happiest people are the ones with the greatest commitments.

Those who stay away from the structure and order that commitments would impose upon them live disordered and unstructured lives. Structure and order shapes me; the avoidance of these things leaves me misshapen. Structure and commitment to an order of things is what matures you. Avoidance of these things leaves you immature.

The autonomous individual is one of the greatest lies of our age. Autonomy means that I am a law unto myself – no one else is the boss of me. What a crock! My life is full of bosses – Jesus, parents, spouse, children, grandchildren, bosses at work, coaches on the field, traffic lights, speed limit signs – I yield to friends, I am persuaded by the pastor. Everywhere I go there is law and the limitations imposed upon me by the order of things to which I belong. The pain you experience isn’t the order of things in which you are in – your pain is generated by resistance to the order of things you belong to. Look to Jesus and obey the laws of the commitments you have made and the order of things you belong to.

Be blessed and stay healthy and follow Jesus – Pastor Tim